Oh, You're So Cool, Stephen Geoffreys!

Stephen Geoffreys, oh how I love thee! For the past several years, your nerdiness has given me butterflies in my stomach. Every time you say, "Oh, you're so cool, Brewster!" or "To what do I owe this dubious pleasure?", I melt inside. Now I'm starting to sound like a total pervert so I'll stop. What I'm trying to say Mr. Geoffreys is that I am a fan of your work. I should probably make it clear that I love the work you have done under the name of Stephen Geoffreys and not that of Sam Ritter or Stephan Bordeaux (no offense). In honor of the man that is Stephen Geoffreys, I thought that I would share some of my favorite films from one of my favorite movie nerds of all-time.

Fright Night


I would not be writing about Stephen Geoffreys right now if it wasn't for Fright Night. Evil Ed is of course my favorite character that Stephen Geoffreys has ever portrayed. It was almost like he was born to play that role. He was a monster geek who was tired of being made fun of and for once wanted to be treated like he was normal. I almost shed a tear ever time I watch the scene when Ed is attacked by Jerry, because you can see that he hides his pain behind all the laughs. Sure, he made fun of Charley for believing that Jerry was a vampire, but without Ed, Charley would have been a victim of Jerry's from day one. Evil Ed is certainly Geoffreys' most entertaining role, and I'm sure mostly everyone could agree with that.



Fraternity Vacation

As if Geoffreys' characters weren't geeky enough, he wore glasses to top off the look in the sex-comedy, Fraternity Vacation. In the film he plays Wendell Tvedt, a guy who goes to Palm Springs with a few buddies for spring break, in order to find himself a girlfriend. While his buddies are in a bet with a couple of other frats guys to sleep with the babe next door, Wendell falls for Nicole (Amanda Bearse). This was the first film that Geoffreys' and Bearse starred in together before co-starring again in Fright Night. The relationship between Wendell and Nicole soon ends 'cause Nicole is too much of a daddy's girl and the bet to sleep with the hot babe fails for the frat guys. Towards the end, Wendell gets the babe and everything else is forgiven and forgotten. Now I know Cameron Dye, Leigh McCloskey, Tim Robbins, and Matt McCoy are some major hunks, but Geoffreys had the personality! That's what got him the girl. Remember: Personality > Hottness



976-EVIL

If you were to take Wendell Tvedt and an eviler "Evil Ed" and put them in a blender, you would get Hoax. Hoax is just plain creepy in my opinion. He's a geek (go figure) who wants revenge on those who torment him and that's exactly what he does, thanks to the phone line 976-EVIL. Anyone who calls that number to get their "Horrorscope" soon become possessed and that's exactly what happens to Hoax. This is Geoffreys' most horrifying role, especially during the scene when he interrupts a poker game by asking if he can play with a pair of hearts as he pulls out two human hearts and throws them on the table. Clever, but totally disgusting. That scene also reminds me of another character from the horror genre who goes by the name Freddy Kruger.

Fun Fact: 976-EVIL was actually directed by Mr. Freddy Kruger himself, Robert Englund.



Heaven Help Us
Heaven Help Us was actually the first film that I saw with Stephen Geoffreys where he played a supporting role as a sexually frustrated, Catholic boy named Williams. The only time you see or hear Geoffreys in this film, he is either pulling his pork or he is talking about pulling his pork. Yes, I'm serious. Sometimes I wonder if this film was responsible for leading Geoffreys into the world of adult entertainment. Even though Geoffreys' role is only minor, it is definitely worth a watch.

You're An Evil Woman: Top 5 Mothers in Horror

If you want to know a few things that make me so very happy, it's talking about awesome mothers and horror films. Over at From Midnight, With Love, The Mike has asked his Midnight Warriors (followers) to talk about mothers in horror films. I knew right away this Warrior had to do something. So for my post I've decided to share my top five mothers that have somehow frightened me over the years with their devilish ways. Hope you enjoy!

Here is the woman who has been there with me through it all. Love you, mom!



5. Vera "Mum" Cosgrove (Dead Alive/Braindead 1992)


Vera Cosgrove (Elizabeth Moody) was just plain vile. Being a mean old bitch is one thing, but not allowing your son to fall in love is just heartbreaking. It's like every mother's dream of watching their child find true love and get married, but old Vera doesn't care. She wanted her son all to herself. Lionel (Timothy Balme) was more of a errand boy than he was a son in Vera's eyes. For the fact that Mrs. Cosgrove lied to her son about his father is a reason why she deserved to be bitten by that infected rat-monkey.

4. Debbie Salt/Mrs. Loomis (Scream 2, 1997)


One thing I love about horror films is seeing an actor or actress I love switch roles. As a child, I always remembered watching Laurie Metcalf play the funny and off-the-wall, Jackie on Rosanne. Then when I saw her in Scream 2, she was the total opposite of Jackie. She was a little on the psychotic side there with her role as Billy Loomis' mother, Debbie. Debbie sort of reminded me of Mrs. Voorhees, she wanted revenge over the loss of her son. The only problem I had with her though was that she blamed everything on everyone else but herself. Yeah Sidney's mother, Maureen, slept around a lot with men like Mr. Loomis, but Debbie didn't have to abandon her own son over it.

3. Woman/Mom/Mrs. Robeson (The People Under the Stairs, 1991)


Mrs. Robeson (Wendy Robie) was one sick and twisted "mother". Just for the fact that she was carrying out an incestuous relationship with her brother, Eldon, (who love to dress up in full leather BDSM gear) for many years is disgusting to me enough, but what grosses me out even more is how they raised their children. Who knew being parent involved hiding your children in the basement and referring them as the "people under the stairs"? Did I also mention that these children no longer had their eyes, tongues, and ears? It's true, 'cause "mommy" and "daddy" wanted the "people under the stairs" to 'hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil'. How messed up is that? Mrs. Robeson was so horrible that she didn't even deserve to be called a mother.

2. Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th, 1980)


The mother of all horror mothers is definitely Mrs. Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) without a doubt. Getting pregnant at fifteen and being disowned by those around her, the only person in Pamela Voorhees' life was her son, Jason. Then after he drowned, it was like she had lost everything. This was a woman so torn up over the loss of her son, to the point where she was hearing voices that were telling her to kill. I think the reason why Pamela Voorhees is one of those mothers that we never forget is for the fact that she would risk anything for her child.

1. Margaret White (Carrie, 1976)


Never was I so afraid to go near my own mother and become a woman, than the time I first saw Piper Laurie as Margaret White in Carrie. My first horror film experience was Carrie at the age of five and seeing Margaret White abuse her own daughter physically and verbally absolutely terrified me. I seriously thought my mother was going to start telling me that I had dirty pillows and that everything was a sin. I think I even cried after watching it for the first time due to the way Margaret was treating Carrie. When a character like that can somehow have that effect on me, they can guarantee themselves a number one spot on my list.



This is for all of you evil ladies out there...


Cliff Richard - Devil Woman
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